20/JohorBahru,Malaysia/A blogger since 2008/Professional and Intellectual Accountant to be.

Settle.

Okay dah.
Tanak orang lain fikir bukanbukan lagi.
Post di bawah ni.. semua salah faham je.
Saya dan mereka udah berbaik baik dong.
Thanks to Nina :)
So no more worries.
Tanak lah gaduhgaduh ke apa lagi.
Semua dah settle. Insya'Allah.

Girls, korang take care.
And Good luck for your SPM.
anddd.. Hidup Silat? #Eh :P

Akak mintak maaf juga. Past is past.
Tanak ingat lagi :)

I Still Feel The Pain

Seriously. You guys made me really angry last night.
In fact, I am still angry now.

I dont know why the hell did you that.
You guys didnt even know who am I talking about, or what am I talking about.
Come on lah.
Kenapa jadi macam ni seh.

Okay, to make it simple and clear enough.
These were the tweets that I have posted through twitter yesterday evening.


Honestly, saya tweet semua tu dalam keadaan yang marah.
So, of course lah, bila kita dah berapi, kita mmg tak boleh nak pikir panjang.
Kita tweet je apa yang kita rasa time tu.
So, that was what I did.
Rasa macam serba salah tweet semua tu, but then bila fikirfikir balik,
who cares? Kan. Because people dont know who am I talking about.
I didnt think it will cause a big problem, until I saw all these annoying tweets posted by my juniors at DUA.



Okay. Mula-mula, I was very curious about all these people and their tweets.
I was wondering..

"ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ME?"

Yup. I think I was right. THEY ARE BITCHING ABOUT ME.
Seriously they talked behind me.
I dont wanna take it too seriously at that time tau.
Tapi bila dah lamalama, tweet dorang makin buat diri ni berapi.
Tambah lagi dengan orang yang duk tanya "kenapa Dila?" and orang yang duk retweet retweet semua tweet dorang tu.

Girls, stop talking about me and my tweets.
I dont give a toss on what will you think about me after this.
But honestly,

I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT YOU GUYS. YEAH. THE THREE OF YOU.

Frankly, petang semalam aku duk sorang sorang kat dalam bilik.
Boring, so aku tengok lah gamba gamba lama dengan kawankawan masa kat Sakti dulu.
Tiba tiba aku jadi marah/sedih bila aku ternampak muka sorang minah ni.
She used to be one of my best friends.
All of the Saktians, including the teachers, semua tau kami memang rapat.
Tapi sekarang dah tak lagi.

I dont know why she didnt wanna be part of us anymore.
I dont know the specific reason.
Dah la tinggalkan ktorang tanpa sebab,
then boleh pulak kutuk ktorang belakangbelakang and dekat Facebook.
Thats all!
Walaupun benda dah lama, tapi bila teringat balik, tibatiba jadi marah.
Because she is my friend. We used to laugh/cry together.
SO THAT WAS WHY I TWEETED ALL THAT SHITS.
You get me????!!!

And If you said that I didnt understand your feelings, You are so wrong sister.
I know exactly the feeling of losing a bestfriend. Aah, mmg lagi sakit daripada hilang boyfriend.



Stop with all this nonsense lah.
You guys misunderstood me.
Seriously.
And I was very offended last night.
People would think me as a bad person.
Sedangkan it is not even my fault.
Cause I didnt even talked about you guys!
Please! Apa kes aku tibatiba nak cakap pasal korang kan.
Aku sendiri tatau apa masalah korang.
Aku dah tak sekolah situ, silat pun aku dah lama tamat.
Kita pun mana rapat sangat. So? Macam tak logic je.

Aku tau korang dulu rapat, selalu bertiga kat sekolah.
But now, not anymore. Aku tau.
Tapi aku tau setakat situ je.
Aku malas nak amik tau lebihlebih.
Siapa aku? Nak jaga tepi kain korang ha.
Tolonglah faham.

Aku memang lah duduk dekat dengan rumah Nana tu.
But that doesnt mean that aku selalu datang rumah dia.
Apa lagi nak bergossip dengan dia pasal korang.
We are not even close to one another, walaupun kami berjiran!
Aku tak pernah nak seboksebok amik tau pasal korang.
Aku dengar cerita orang je, tapi aku bukannya percaya sangat pun.
I have my own perception!

And one more thing that you guys should know/realize.
People in this world can tweet about anything. ANYTHING they want.
Kalau lah korang betubetul ada terasa dengan tweet orang lain,
jangan lah main hembus/hentam orang tu.
Tak boleh tanya dulu ke? Susah sgt ke? Kalau tanak tanya publicly, tanya lah secretly, apa guna DM tu?

Kita tatau orang tu tweet pasal apa, pasal siapa.
And kita pun tatau situation orang tu macam mana.
Maybe situation kita dengan orang tu sama ke? Who knows?!
So, take a deep breath, and just ask!
Seriously, I wont mind pun kalau my juniors/my friends nak tanya pasal tweet tu.
Tanya je lah, Daripada duk mengata orang belakangbelakang. Lagi tak baik.

I think it is not me who needs to say sorry.
Because I have my own stories.
As a junior, and also as someone who is younger,
you guys should be ashamed of yourself.
Mind your manners. And seriously, respect the elders.
I dont ask for your apology.
I just want to clear all this thing so that there will be no more problems/misunderstandings between us.

I repeat myself, all those tweets were not about you guys.
Jangan perasan tweet tu pasal korang.
I dont give a damn on what will you guys think/talk/gossip about me after this.
But one thing for sure.
I WAS REALLY OFFENDED.

Think. And thank you.


PS // And for my friends, Im sorry because of the tweet that Ive posted. And also the F word that Ive said last night. I couldnt help myself, friends. I was so mad.
But anyway, thanks for all the advices and your care :) Thanks a lot. You guys calmed me.

Dear Nurin,

First of all, I just want you to know that I actually have no idea what Im going to say here, Really. I just thought that maybe you need some support or advice or anything lah that can comfort you.


Yep, this post is basically about your (our) past. I hope you dont mind. But if you do, just ignore tau. hihi.

Sorry kalau buat kau teringat semula kisahkisah lama yang pahit tu.
But just take this words in a positive way okay.
I just wanna share some stories, some pains, and all those feelings that I've felt all this time. And how can I get over it. (well, im still trying though)
Well, I dont know how to start but I think you should know a lil bit of my stories so that you will not be confused hehe.

So, I was in a relationship with this one guy, my schoolmate at Sakti masa late 2010. Tak lah lama sangat, setakat setahun lebih je, cant really remember.

For your story, I dont know whether you've been betrayed by him, or he suddenly wanna break up for no reasons, or whatever. I dont know. But one thing for sure, I really can understand your feeling. As for my story, simple je. I did a mistake. He forgive me, but he said he would never gonna come back to me again. And that was very frustrating/sad/disappointing and all.

Hmmm.
When he's not around, aku mmg ada rasa lemah sikit.
I cried EVERYDAY. All day long. Trust me.
I cried and cried and cried for almost three months.
I called him many times, and text him very often.
Just to know what was he doing and of course, to not let him forget me.
I was really hoping for my second chance, too bad, I didnt get any.

It was a very hard time for me.
Just imagine, pergi kuliah menangis, dalam kuliah menangis, keluar kuliah pun menangis.
Dalam bilik pun menangis mcm orang gila sampai my roommates semua tatau nak buat apa dah.
I skipped my meals. That time, mcm tade selera nak makan.
My eyes, mmg dah mcm panda eyes, my face looked vey pale.
my classmates masa kat matriks were wondering what had happened to me.
Assignments semua jangan cerita lah, memang tak buat. Buat mana yang tau je.
Even my lecturers suruh I jumpa doctor.
FOR THREE MONTHS, nurin.
All I ever think about that time, was him.

All the pain that I've felt, Only God knows how sakitnyaa, sayunyaaa, sunyinya hati ni.
Wherever I went, whatever I did, he will always gonna appear infront of me. Mesti terbayang dia. Kadang kadang sampai cakap sorangsorang kononkonon dia ada kat sebelah.
I keep on checking his FB's wall and skype.
Because that was the only way that can make me know what was he up to.
I really regret losing him, I just wanted him to know that I still love him so much.
(masa tu lah)

Lepas we broke up, I was not the girl that I used to be anymore.
I started to minimize my friends.
I didnt really care about anybody anymore.
I didnt talk much and yeah, I was not really interested in guys.
I just need my parents. Thats all.

Yeah, memang sedih/kecewa sangat.
Lagi sedih hati ni bila dapat tau he now has a new gf.
The hell kan? Haha.
Masa tu mmg tak boleh describe lah feeling ni.
HANCUR BERDERAI.
Rasa mcm tak boleh nak cantumkan balik all the pieces too. really.
Beacuse masa tu I was really trying hard to get him back, tapi dia dah ada yang lain.
Lagi sedih and lagi banyak air mata. sampai dah tak cukup air mata hihi.
Eventough my friends semua pujukpujuk and tried to make me laugh/be happy, jauhhhhh dalam hati ni, masih rasa sedih.
I boleh ketawa, tapi ketawa tu mcm fake. I rasa, kalau I dapat dia balik, baru I boleh happy se-happy happy-nya.

But.. time after time, until now, Im starting to get better.
I tried to forget him by making myself busy.
Lepak with my friends, pergi shopping lah and etc.
Kalau tibatiba I teringat pasal dia, I will immediately distract myself dengan sengaja.
I dah tak sms/call dia.
Apa lagi nak check facebook dia tu semua kan.

Masa ni lah baru I sedar yang kita ni, perempuan, memang sangat kuat.
Kekuatan kita terletak dalam diri kita. Bukan pada luaran.
Kalau I tak kuat, I takkan mungkin dapat lupakan orang yang I paling sayang.

Dia sangat baik orangnya.
Tak pernah mengongkong/marah.
I love talking to him. I miss talking to him.
I can tell him everything. EVERYTHING.
cause dia sangat memahami.
I know he still loves me. And he knows I still love him.
But we just couldnt get back together.
It would be very awkward. Come on, it has been one year dah since we broke up.

But sometimes, I do feel like I dont wanna have anything related to him anymore.
I mean, macam..
I wanna block him from my facebook.
I wanna throw away his shirts and all his gifts.
I wanna delete his number from my cellphone and all.
sebab, thinking of him doesnt make me remember all of the good/sweeet memories of us, It will only make me remember about all the pains Ive felt.

BUT I JUST CANT. WHY? sebab jauh jauh jauh dalam hati ni, masih ada rasa sayang.
Biarlah I je yang tau. Dia tapayah tau pun takpe. Lagi satu, for me, I rasa mcm tak baikbuat mcm tu. I didnt throw it, but I keep it in a place yang tertutup so that I tak selalu nampak. Kalau nampak nanti, mesti rasa sedih.

Yeah, as what I told you before, we may forget all the memories with him, but we could never fix the scar in our heart. And there's still this one little tiny space in our heart, just for him.
I dont know bout you, but now, everytime I think about him, hati ni mesti automatically rasa sakit sikit.


Tipu lah kalau I cakap I tak jealous tengok couple couple kat luar tu.
Tipu lah kalau I cakap I tanak cari lelaki lain.
Tipu lah kalau I cakap I tanak rasa disayangi mcm dulu.
You know, I miss all that cute/common things yang kita buat dengan boyfriend.

eg ;
bergayut tengah malam
texting manja manja pastu senyum sorangsorang
kena panggil "sayang" and all that

Tapii.. I dont think its the time yet.
Kadang kadang rasa macam bazir masa pulak.
Hati sendiri pun tak terjaga, ni lagi nak jaga hati orang lain.
Lagi pun, I dah mcm trauma dengan kejadian dulu tu.
Im afraid I'll go through the same pain again, or even worst? Who knows kan.
So, to be safe, I'd rather not to have any relationship right now.
I just wanna focus on my studies and just be friends with everybody.
Its not a shame pun kalau takde boyfriend.
I leave all this kind of thing to God because he knows whats best for me, for us.

Past is past. Theres nothing we can change about our pasts.
But the future now depends on us. Kan?
So kalau tanak benda yang sama berulang lagi, better be careful and always take care of ourselves.


You know, sometimes I rasa semua ni mmg patut berlaku.
Sebab this pain memories make me discover another new side of me.
Its not easy to be strong.

Tuhan tu kan Maha Bijaksana.
Mesti semua ni ada hikmahnya.
Cuma kita nampak ke tak nampak hikmahnya.

Nurin, I dont know whether this helps your or not.
But I do hope that you can get rid of your past.
And live your life to the max!

And remember, bukan kita yang rugi kehilangan dia.
Tapi dia yang rugi kehilangan kita :)

xoxo Take Care!

PS // Baru perasan blog kita sama design lah hehe.

Copy and Paste.

5 reasons why you should consider blogging ;

1. Blogging improves your storytelling skills
2. Blogging improves your communication skills
3. Sharing is caring
4. Position yourself as a thought leader
5. Blogging builds your personal information repository

What do you think about these 5 main reasons why everyone should blog? What other reasons would you add to these five?

Its from Zemanta Blog people. Check it out!

Nikon D90 to explore!


Okay, this is not officially my camera. This is for family use lah.
But still, when people ask me whos camera is this,
Duh what more to say, mestilah kita akan cakap camera kita kan.

But basically, my mom bought this camera for me to explore, to learn more about photohgraphy.
I dont know, but maybe she thinks that I am good at taking pictures (sometimes) and also, I love making short videos. ( so-so lah )
And among all my family members, I am the one who always stick to my camera 24-7 hehe

THANKS MA! <3




So, Ive been having private class every tuesday.
To learn photography of course.
But just dont put high expectations on me since all the photos that I took were not good enough. Yet.
Awh I feel really bad.
And mom, dont be sooo dissapointed pasal semua photo that I took masa program Bersamamu Century tuu :(
Yeah, Im still learning.
It takes time kan.

I am now, soooo madly in love with this camera.
Yeah, as many people would say ;
Canon specially made for quantity.
While Nikon specially made for quality.

That is so true. (I guess?)
My D90 is not bad.
Just that, I need to explore more.

Selain kelas kelas tu semua,
I am also watching tutorials for DSLR kay youtube, especially Nikon D90 lah kan.
Ive learned a lot.
And I hope ilmu ilmu ni boleh dipakai for raya.

Lain tau.
Ada certain people beli DSLR just because orang lain beli, and just for fun.
And bila dila amik gambar mcm mana pun,
dia still rasa satisfied cause dia pakai DSLR.
Hm.

But for me,
since Ive learned about photography (a bit)
Now I know how to differentiate good photos and not-so-good photos.
Kadang kadang orang cakap gambar tu lawa,
but for me, tak cukup lagi.
Kena buat lagi better.
And I still need to explore more.

Haaa gitu :D
Again, Thanks a lot Ma.


Ramadhan in memories.

Well, theres actually a lot of memories during my Ramdhan for all these years.
Memang syok.

Family members all get together buka sama sama. How happy kan!
Pergi bazar Ramadhan yang memang sesak gila and of course, banyak makanan yang mengiurkan hee.
Tolong my maid masak masak for buka. Ahh that feeling when my family puji masakan tu!
And of course, bila kawan kawan ajak buka sama sama. Syoknyeeeee!

Yeah, ni mmg common lah untuk semua orang kan.
Semua orang pernah rasa mcm ni during Ramadhan.
Same goes to me.

But, there is one thing I could never forget.
It was last year's Ramadhan.

Well, i first met this makcik masa tu dekat cafe admin matriks Johor.
Mula mula, just went there with my friends, and have some foods to eat.
But then, things changed.
We started to talk to each other. Talk about tu lah, ni lah.
And I started to know her family memebers.
We were so close that time.
And so, I decided to help her to sell her Roti John kat bazar.
Fyi, bazar tu bukan dekat mana pun, dalam kolej je.


Ha, macam macam makanan yang kami jual tau. Air pun sama.
Korang nak apa?
Nasi ayam? Nasi ayam penyet (ke penyek? hihi)? Nasi Ambang?
Apa lagi?
But I was in charge for Roti John.

I made it all by myself tau.
Start dengan rotinya, butter, daging, telur, sos, sayur, mayonnaise semua lah!
It was tiring, but I had a lot of fun.
It was a new experience for me, And i liked it!
I really gave my all masa menjual semua semua tu.
And thanks to my skill, I grabbed a lot of attention when I was making the Roti John.
hihi perasan ke? :DD

I dont know lah, but people seem to like my style of doing it. Ecececehh.
Come on, I tak lokek sauce and telur and sayur and all that.
Masa tengah buat pun dah tak tahan nak buka sebenarnya hehe.
Anddd, maybe I ikhlas buat roti tu kot.
Ramai gila yang order sampai roti pun tak cukup dah.

So, conclusion = keikhlasan tu membawa banyak untung lah kan haha merepek!


And, another thing, actually ramai yang datang beli sebab dipaksa haha ye ke?
Tak tau lah kan.
Tapi thanks to my "communication skill" jugak, I yelled at my friends suruh dorang stop by at our stall tu.
And some of them, tengok tengok je terus beli. ngeee :D
Mmmg rasa puas bila tengok orang ramai beli makanan kat gerai kita.

It was my first time doing such things.
I could see many types of people.
I could enhance my communication skill towards people.
And I also I learned that it is not easy to find money.
One has to work really hard, REALLY :D

It was such an amazing experience for me. And i really miss those moments :')

PS // Makcik, walaupun kita dah jarang contact, trust me, i will always remeber you and your family! <3





Bersederhana je

Okay, this year punya raya.
I didnt buy much, like before before ni kan.
I just buy things that I really need to have for raya.
Thats all.
Hm. what do you think?
I really think that this is one of the ways for me to learn to appreciate money. lol.
Betul kan? Haaa betul lah tu.

My shopping for raya dah settle.
Then after raya, baru shopping untuk masuk college.
Seriously kena beli kemeja because I dont have many kemeja hihi.
But still, no wasting wasting money tau dila :P

Somebody.

Yeahh. I miss blogging. Come on, seriously memang jarang lah nak update blog sekarang. Kalau dulu, peh everyday update kan hihi :D

Im sorry, its either Im just too busy/tire or Im just too lazy/not in the mood to post stories. Hm.

But no worries, I will not gonna abandon my blog. Nahhh.

Okay, Ive been resting and lepak-ing and socializing kat rumah ni for like 3-4 months already. And I am seriously bored. Everybody here is working. My dad, my mom, my brother. And my younger sister and brother pulak schooling kan. So, its just me and my bibik heheh.

So far, sepanjang cuti nih, theres a lot of things that I did actually.
Sampai nak cerita pun dah tak teringat dah hihi. But most importantly lah kan, I miss my friends soo much. I have a lot of friends. But well, semua dah ada their own commitment kan, so everybody is kind of busy, andd.. you knowww. Cuti pun tak lama. well. what to do. But im still happy cause at least, we're still in contact! :D

I miss all of my friends. But ada certain friends that i miss the most. Lets see..


Guys, this is Siddiq. PLKN brought us together. We were in the same company (ALPHA) and from time to time, we get to know each other secara rapat. During PLKN tu tak lah rapat sangat, but after that, we keep in touch through skype, facebook. we chat, we talk, we video call, and we even sing together. Awhh i miss all those times I have had with him. He's a great friend. Im just so lucky to have a friend like him. I can talk about.. like, everything with him. Siddiq, rindu kau ngeng :D

And this is Amy. We used to study in the same school for three years. We use to be classmates. We used to talk about our mother, a lot, sebelum van datang amik kitorang balik sekolah haha. Im not that close to her. Kalau compare dengan kawan kawan lain, dia ni kira yang so-so lah. But since ktorang keluar haritu, tiba tiba jadi rapat semacam pulak. heh? haha. shes just crazy. reaaaalll crazy.. and nice too! Amy, aku rindu kau, kau tau tak? :D


Alaaaa banyak lagi lah kawan kawan yang dirindui nih. Belambak. But CURRENTLY, these two yang aku rindu gila, tatau nape haihh.

But guys, kalau korang ada terbaca post ni, dont get me wrong okay. Korang pun aku rindu jugaaakkk :')

Take Care, xoxo


Ugh.

Kecewanya hati ni bila malam kelmarin aku tertidur.
Masa tengah berzikir, tiba tiba mata ni terlelap.
Terus tertidur.
Hm, takpe, mungkin bukan rezeki aku malam tu.
Setidak tidaknya I've tried to stay up.
Cukup lah untuk mendapatkan keredhaanNya.

Hari ni pulak,
Badan aku, otot otot tulang sendi semua penat.
Petang tadi ada aktiviti dengan mama.
Tengahari baru sampai rumah.
Ingatkan balik boleh tidur, so that malam ni boleh la stay up untuk Lailatul Qadar,
tapi rupa rupanya tak boleh tidur.
Mama pun cakap benda yang sama.

Memang sangat penat sampai nak buka pun dah tak larat nak makan.
Masya'Allah.
Tapi tu lah, still I couldn't sleep.

Its okay maybe semua ni ada hikmahnya.
Walaupun badan ni penat sangat,
tapi dengan izin Allah, harap harap malam ni aku masih dapat beramal soleh sempena malam malam terakhir Ramadhan ni.

Insya'Allah. Tuhan tu Maha Berkuasa.
Semua ni pasti ada hikmahnya Dila.

Izinkan Aku

Ya Allah!

Sempena malam malam terakhir Lailatul Qadar ni,
Kau berikan lah aku kesihatan tubuh badan, ketenangan jiwa dan akal fikiran,
serta kurniakan lah aku petunjuk dan hidayahMu.

Sesungguhnya aku ni terlampau banyak dosa.
Terlampau banyak, Ya Allah.

Izinkan aku untuk mendekati diriMu ya Allah.
Izinkan aku untuk mengabdikan namaMu dalam hatiku ya Allah.
Izinkan aku untuk sentiasa mengingati dan mensyukuri segala nikmatMu ya Allah.

Berilah aku peluang untuk bertemu dan merasai syahdunya malam Lailatul Qadar ini Ya Allah.
Berilah aku kesempatan untuk aku beramal soleh pada malam yang mulia ini ya Allah.
Celikkan lah mata ini, Kuatkanlah tubuh badan yang lemah ini.

Insya'Allah.

Ego.

Im sorry ma.
But I will try to not to receive any money from you.
For the time being.
Until masuk U nanti.

I dont know why.
But I think I owe you a lot.

Dont worry.
I still have my matrix punya allowance.
Soo.. pakai duit tu je dulu.

Seriously, you have already bought me a lot of stuffs.
And I am very thankful.

Kadang kadang terasa malu pulak.
Dah besar panjang, but still using your money.
Nak tu lah, nak ni lah.

Soo, nak rasa jugak kumpul/spend duit sendiri.

Sorry. And thank you.

To go, or not to go?

Hafiz texted me and he asked me to watch movie together with him tomorrow.
Yeah, tomorrow.
And dia baru tanya tadi.
Bijak bijak. Apa apa je lah.
Its never too late pun.

Seriously I have no problem going out with him,
But bila fikirfikir balik,
wouldnt it be soo awkward if its just the two of us?
He pick me up and.. just me and hafiz in the car?

Hmmm.
Before ni ada jugak keluar dengan dia.
But that time ada lagi sorang.
Mamat mana entah.
So tade lah rasa awkward sangat.

But.. what about tomorrow?
I have already said yes.
BECAUSE I WAS TOOOOO BORED. SERIOUSLY BORED.
So bila dah ada orang ajak, okay je lah.

Bukan tanak keluar,
but, Hafiz and me,
Kita bukanlah rapat sangat.
He used to like me.. dulu.
But tatau lah sekarang kan.
Hopefully tade dahh.
Tapi honestly, mesti tatau nak cakap apa nanti.

Haihhh tengok lah apa jadi esok. Berserah je T_T

This is so not me!

Yes.
This is so not me!
I am not the kind of girl yang macam ni
In fact, I am not supposed to be the kind of girl yang macam ni!
Macam lifeless je.

That kind of girl?
The kind of girl yang macam mana?


Yang bangun awal pagi. Pastu tidur balik sampai lewat tengahari.
Lepas bangun terus tengok tv.

Yang spend time the whole evening watching tv or surf internet.
Lagi lagi tengok korean dramas/korean variety shows.

Yang lepas solat maghrib, terus tengok lagi koren thingy ni.

Yang waktu makan pun dah tak fix. Berserabut habis.
And Im getting skinnier because of this.

Yang tidur lambat, and esoknya ulang balik benda yang sama.

Kenapa Dila? Kenapa? Kenapa kau macam ni sekali?
Oh yes. Im not blamming anybody seriously.
But I think this might be the reasons.


MAYBE because my friends semua dah start sambung study. They left me alone here.

MAYBE because I didnt manage my time well? Err, or MAYBE because I didnt plan anything good and beneficial for me to do at home. For me to spend my time wisefully.

MAYBE because I dont have any car (yet) for me to go wherever I want.

MAYBE because my parents, my brother are always not at home. I mean, working.

MAYBE because.. LIFE IS JUST SOO BORING?

Ahhhh I didnt mean it though.
But thats how I feel now.
I feel useless.
Seriously Honestly Desperately USELESS now.
Why oh why.

I am really hoping for something good to happen to me.
Something fun? To make me smile, to make me laugh like hell again? Macam dulu
No? Haiiihhh I dont know. I am just hoping.
You see. This is just not me.
I dont like being in this kind of situation.
Im seriously depressed. And yeah, Im lonely too.
No one is here for me :'(

I AM SERIOUSLY BORED. AND I SERIOUSLY DONT LIKE MY ROUTINE NOW.

Like, Im stuck. I couldnt go anywhere. I just have to stay here, at home. And figure out something to do to cheer me up.





Malam Semalam.

Haaaaaa.
After such a longlong time.
Finally kita berbual jugak!
Seiously, it has been such a loooongggg time tau.
Tujuh ke lapan bulan macam tu.

I called you.
I have a problem.
And I think you are the only person that can help me with the problem.
Yes, thank you!
You calmed me. Just by hearing your voice.

Haihhh,
Betapa ragu ragunya aku nak call kau.
Betapa risaunya aku nak call kau.
Betapa takutnya aku nak call kau.
haa semua tu lahhh.


Kita gelakgelak bila borak pasal our past.
And at the same time, kita pun bersedih jugak haih.
Tapi nak buat macam mana kan.
Benda nak jadi.

Kalau lah aku boleh kembali ke masa silam kan best
haha ayat skema lol

Apa pun, I wish you the best of luck.
For everything.
Jangan pernah lupa aku tau!
And please please please..
You have to always remember this :

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. ALWAYS.


Take care.
And thanks jugak sebab sudi mendengar masalah aku.
Luangkan masa untuk aku.
And, luahkan isi hati kau jugak.
Thanks thanks and thanks!

Lega!

Alhamdulillah.
Result pun dah dapat.
Okay lah, melegakan hee.

Alhamdulillah.
UPU fasa dua pun dah settlekan tadi.
Fuh nasib baik tade masalah sangat.
Ye lah mana lah tau kalau hang ke kan.
Hopefully, dapat lah course course tuu.

Insya'Allah. Tawakal.

Risau!

Okay.
Malam ni nak kena tidur awal.
Esok kena bangun pagipagi, nak buat passport.
Takut ramai orang.
Nanti nombor habis.

Doakan saya yee, saya harap sangat dapat renew passport nih :')

Goodnite, take care <3

Random post.






Fried Ice cream <3 Ahhhhhhhh sedapnya! Saya suka saya suka! Tak tau lah kenapa, tapi sejak ikut ayah pergi Giant every weekend, mesti beli fired ice cream kat Mr. Magic punya stall tu. Wajib! I love enyhthing that has to do with ice cream heheh :DD

Dailyfresh's Icekimo <3 Haaaa ni pun saya layan! Takde lah sedap mana tapi entah, suka beli. Saya suka flavour soursoup. Mmmmmm. It does not melt easily lah, thats why kot :) OK dah, tu je dila. Kau tu dah la suka makan. Nanti ntah apa lagi makanan kau promote kang :P

Rupa-rupanya.

Oh okay.
Semakin lama kita hidup,
Semakin banyak kita tau pasal diri kita.
Apa kelebihan kita, kekurangan, keistimewaan, kepelikan ha semua tu lah kan.

Aku pun sama.
Semakin banyak dugaan yang Tuhan beri kat aku,
Semakin aku kenal diri aku yang sebenar.

Tambahtambah lagi bila aku dah duduk kat banyak tempat kan.

DUA, SAKTI, PLKN, KMJ

And of course, bila berhadapan dengan situasi situasi yang macam macam lah.

SEDIH HAPPY KECEWA LONELY MARAH dan seangkatan dengannya.

Yeah, terima kasih Tuhan.
Aku semakin kenal diri aku ni.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang agak PUNCTUAL lah.
seriously tau.
I dont like to wait for people, and I dont want people to wait for me too.
Kalau ada event pukul 10 pagi, memang Insya'Allah aku datang tepat pada masanya.
Kan senang.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang BIJAK BERKATA-KATA. (boleh lahh)
Dont get me wrong guys, maksud aku..
Kalau aku ada masalah, aku tak rasa kekok nak bercerita kat orang.
Senang je untuk aku nak bercerita kat orang sebab kalau aku nak bercerita,
memang aku akan pakai ayat yang sesuai lah untuk dia senang nak faham cerita aku tu.
Aku tak cerita merapu rapu. Apa yang aku cerita tu ada flow nya.
Bukan main hentam je. I will go slowly, from A till Z.
Andd, kalau kawankawan aku ada masalah, aku memang boleh lah bagi nasihat.
Kalau orang tu ada masalah, kita tak boleh tegur dia tau,
kita kena bagi words atau action yang dia perlu buat lepas tu.
Bukan blame dia atau pun cakap " Ha tu lah kau, sapa suruh kau buat macam tu "
Tak boleh tau. That's a BIG NO.
Ha macam tu lah.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang suka MEMBERI ARAHAN/MEMIMPIN.
Yeah, aku tak kata aku hebat. Aku tak kata aku leader yang baik jugak.
Tapi, aku rasa aku boleh memimpin orang. Dengan cara aku sendiri.
Aku tak suka lah kalau sesebuah organisasi tu huru hara takde arah tuju.
Atau pun, leader tu haprak tak boleh pakai.
So why not aku je yang memimpin kalau aku rasa aku ada the guts to lead people kan.
Ecececeh. Aku suka benda tu teratur.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang CEPAT KESIAN.
Haihh, aku tak boleh tengok orang susah, orang cacat, orang tua yang sakit ke etc.
Aku mudah menitiskan air mata untuk orangorang macam ni.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku boleh tengok cerita seram tapi aku tak boleh belah kalau ceritacerita bunuhbunuh orang dengan cara yang sangat tak patut tu.
haaa contoh ; SAW, FINAL DESTINATION dan seangkatan dengannya lah.
Ishh tak takut ke?
Kejam sangat lah, aku tak boleh hehe.
Aku rasa macam aku yang kena, bukan orang yang dalam cerita tu, lol.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang SUKA MENELITI/MEMERHATI orang lain.
Haaa ni bahaya sikit.
Sebab bila aku dah memerhati, and kalau ada benda yang aku tak puas hati,
aku terus kutuk orang tu. tapi dalam hati je lah hahaha.
Aku cuba nak elak, tapi.. memang dah macam tu nak buat macam mana.
Tapi apa pun, aku cuba untuk bersangka baik :) chill lah.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang BERANI.
Ni paling ketara kot sepanjang aku kat KMJ.
Aku tak kesah kalau dicabar kena pergi kat lelaki tu, cakap I LOVE YOU ke apa.
Aku berani jumpa lecturer, minta maaf kalau aku ada buat salah ke apa.
Aku berani cakap kat khalayak ramai.
Come on, kalau kita berani, memang kita akan rasa puas.
Sebab semuanya macam kat hujung jari je.
Hhaha.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang PERAMAH habis.
Ha ni bukan rupa-rupanya dah, ni dah memang.
Kalau tanya kawankawan dulu, lagilagi masa kat DUA tu.
Confirm dorang cakap ;

dila ni happy go lucky, dila ni lawak, dila ni best cot cet cot cet

Hmm betul lah tu.
Aku suka buat orang ketawa sebab aku.
Aku pun cepat mesra, aku boleh sekepala ngan sesapa pun.
Aku suka buat kawan lah. Best apa :)
Tapi jaga jaga tau.
dalam ramah ramah kita pun, mesti ada jugak kita terbuat orang benci kita kan.
I know.

Rupa-rupanya.
Aku seorang yang PEMENDAM.
Selalunya, orang yang happy go lucky ni, kalau dia ada masalah,,
dia tak berapa nak cerita kat orang.
Aku pun macam tu. Ntah lah aku pun tak pasti kenapa.
Tapi memang betul, I'd rather keep the problems to myself.
Tapi orang boleh tau kot kalau aku ada problems.
They can see it through my face haha.
Dahii berkeruttt je memanjangg kann.
Tapi, apa yang aku pendam ni pun boleh memakan diri aku jugak.
Sakit tau!

Haaa, up till now,
ni je kot yang aku dapat discover pasal diri aku.
Memang ada banyak lagi.
Tapi, biar lah aku je yang tau. Personal! hehe.

Till then, take care <3

Dear John,

HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA T___T
kenapa aku masih nak tengok cerita ni?
over and over again.

Mungkinkah kerana Channing Tatum yang hot gila tu?
Atau mungkin kerana Amanda Seyfried yang pun hot jugak tu?

haha no lah. semua tu merepek je lebih.




Dear John ni sangat sedih.
One of the love stories yang memang wa respect lah.
Dah berbaldi baldi dah air mata wa.
Haha kenapa wa emosional sangat pun wa tatau lah kan.
Haiihh.

// sayangnyaaa lelaki tu kat perempuan tu kan //

Laugh a little.

HAHAHAHHAA.
Bila baca postpost dulu kan,
Dengan gaya penulisan yang ntah apa apa.
Dengan short form nya lagi.
Ntah pape lah, puh-lease!
Gelak habis habisan tau tak.
Memang masa tu tak matang lagi kan.

Tu lah bezanya dulu dan sekarang.
Dulu ada orang nak comment but now, dah tade dah hahaha.
Tak kesahh.. Wa coool jeee :DD



Haaaa I got to do something, to cheer up my mood.
Takkan lah nak sedih je ni.
Dah 10 bulan berlalu.
Adoiii apa lagi aku kena buat ni.
Dah macam macam kaedah aku cuba eiii.

From the bottom of my heart.

I am not a good blogger.
I dont have any gempakgempak stories for me to write.
I only write about me, myself. And, what is happening around me.
I write whenever I want.
And I just write whatever I want.

Sometimes, I do feel jealous looking at other people's blog.
Their blogs are very attractive, and of course lah ramai followers hehe.
I dont like those fancyfancy layout.
Imma simple person, just look at my blog. Kan?
suciii jee hehe
Sedar tak sedar, I became a blogger since 2008 already.
Up till now, baru 200 lebih post je. (Banyak yang dah delete sebab entah pape kan)

But it's okay.
Ada ke takde orang nak baca,
I will continue to post.
Kenapa susah susah nak fikir apa pandangan orang lain kan?
I write stories too. So tade banyak beza pun :)

Ini bukan menagih simpati, Ini hanyalah luahan rasa tidak puas hati kepada blogger yang lain wahahaha

Happy Belated Birthday Mom!


Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to Mama!
Happy Birthday to you!




Ma, hope u had a great birthday!
May Allah bless you with happiness and health.
Take great care of yourself.
I LOVE YOU!
Stay cun!

xoxo, Dila <3

Just because of an SMS.



Hanya kerana sms tu.
Aku excited tak tentu pasal.

Hanya kerana sms tu.
Aku menunggu lagi sms sms yang seterusnya.

Hanya kerana sms tu.
Aku boleh tau khabar kau sekarang.

Hanya kerana sms tu.
Aku puas hati, sebab dah lama aku tunggu.

Hanya kerana sms tu.
Aku jadi rindu gila kat kau.

Dan hanya kerana sms tu.
Aku makin tak boleh melupakan kau.

Bukan mudah.

Sorry, aku bukan tanak reply.
Tapi aku tak sampai hati tengok diri aku sendiri.

Mungkinkah?

All right.
Kejadian berlaku masa on the way balik Taman Perling, JB with Aten and Master.

Mas : Dila, ayam macam mana? (sambil sengihsengih konon comel lah haha)
Me : Ha? Aaaa. Entah, tatau lahh. Alaa jangan lah tanya aku.. sedih lah
Mas : Kau kenapa dengan dia sebenarnya?


Blablabla.
Dah tak ingat dah apa perbualan lepas tu.
Tapi yang penting.
Tibatiba Master cakap :

" Kau tau tak, dia tu still sayang kat kau lagi tu "

okay seriously I was totally surprised
Dah kenapa mamat ni tetiba cakap ayam suka lagi kat aku
Dah sure sure budak tu dah ada girlfriend baru kan lol
TAKKAN LAH. TAK MUNGKIN.

Eh, kau ni betulbetul lah, jangan lah mainmain dia kan dah ada awek. Mesti lah dia sayang kat awek dia tu.
tade maknanya nak ingat ingat aku lagi
(haa macam tu lah)

Tapi, Master keep on convincing aku yang ayam still syg kat aku.
Pastu adalah dia cakap a few things lagi which I'd rather keep it to myself because it is too personal for me.

okay done.
dah almost 9 months berlalu.
dan dia pun dah lama dengan girlfriend dia,
takkan lah dia boleh ada lagi perasaan kat aku.
aku tau tu takkan mungkin.
come on lah.
dia dah tawar hati kot.
takde maknanya dah.

Tapii..
apa yang Master cakap tu.. Betul ke?
Haiihh.
kalau betul, okay lahh, happy lah jugak.
tapi kalau tak betul pun, biarlah what to do kan.
Tapi bila master cakap macam tu,
tu macam member aku sedikit harapan.
Harapan apa pun aku tak pasti lah.
Bercelaru otak, bercampurcampur rasa hati ni.

Hm.
Tak kesah lah betul ke tak.
Yang penting aku masih ingat dia.
Aku masih doakan dia dari jauh.
Dan aku masih lagi sayang dia. Dari jauh.
Dia tau ke tatau aku sayang dia, tu semua tak penting.
Yang penting untuk aku, dia happy.
Biarlah dia happy dengan orang yang dia sayang,
daripada dia terus bersedih dengan orang yang dia tak sayang kan.

Tapi, I have to admit that I cried masa dalam kereta tu.
Masa master cakap macam tu.
I dont know why, I just cried.
Rasa sebak gila hati ni bila cakap pasal dia tau.
Adoiii dila, dila. Kau kan dah tanak nangis.
Kenapa ni? Kenapa susah sgt kau nak lupakan dia?

KENAPA? Mungkin aku terlalu sayangkan dia. Yes.

Bila sampai je rumah,
kena tegur dengan ayah sebab balik malam.
Actually, ayah takde lah marah sangat cuma dia risau keadaan memandu di jalan raya malam malam tu
dari bandar penawar ke JB.
ye lah, kan agak jauh.
walaupun ayah cuma menegur,
aku tatau kenapa, air mata terus menitis.
laju dan deras pulak tu. (eceh ayat tak boleh belah kan)

bila fikirfikir balik,
kenapa aku menangis eh?
macam lah sebelum ni tak pernah kena marah/tegur dengan ayah kan.
macam lah ni first time aku balik lewat.

KENAPA? Mungkin aku terlampau rindukan dia.
Dah lama sangatsangat aku tak nampak batang hidung dia kan.
Daripada masuk matriks, sampai dah putus,
and sampai lah hari pergi sakti tu.
tu lah first aku nampak dia sejak setahun lebih.

Haihhh aku bersyukur gila tengok kau.
Kau nampak sehat je.
Aku suka! Kau tak berubah pun.
still macam dulu, cuma rambut je dah panjang.
Aku tersenyum sendiri bila tengok kau,
tapi hati kecil ni sebenarnya bersedih bila teringat semuanya.

Alaaaaa, aku tade niat pun nak post pasal ni.
Tapi tangan ni gatal dah nak tulis jugak.
Dengan sape lagi aku nak luahkan perasaan kan.
Hanya dengan blog aku ni je lah baru terluah segalanya yang terpendam.

KAU, jaga diri baikbaik tau! Aku sentiasa ada untuk kau!

* Kepada sesiapa je lah yang mengenali diri ini, dan memang tau siapa watak " kau " dalam post post saya ni, jangan salah faham ye kawankawan, bukan apa pun, sekadar bercerita :) *

A trip to SAKTI

Pagipagi lagi dah bangun excited gila nak pergi sekolah haha
Then Ain datang amek, dalam kereta dah ada Lek, and Ghajen
Wahh, lama tak ketemu sama mereka!
Dalam kereta borakborak kosong,
sampailah dekat Shell Jusco
tunggu yang lain smpai then konvoi samasama

okay.
segan lahh.
nampak budakbudak laki tu semuaaa.
macam nak duk dalam kereta jee.
semua dah matangmatang berisi.
haihhh aku je yang still kedingkeding.
Dah lepaklepak kejap, baru gerak gi Kota.
Kumpul kat McD.
haaaa teringat pulak zaman bercintan cintun dulu kan
sayu la jugak hati ni.
kitorang smpai lambat sikit, budakbudak laki dah ada kat 2nd floor.
smpaismpai je, dah dengar dorang memekik nyanyi birthday song for Reza.
comel! masa bday aku tade pun orang nak memekik mekak nyanyi lagu kan. haihhh.



all right, this picture up here, kat McD
di mana berlakunya scene wish birthday Reza.
okay, ni gadisgadis yang datang.
sikit tapi best! :D

Zul (left) and Hazim (right)!
rindu korang gilagila boleh tak?
excited gila jumpa korang tauu.
Zul makin handsome lah :P Hazim makin gemuks!
haha dulu kat kelas korang lah yang suka sakat aku kan.
RINDUUUUUUUUUUU <3


Zarith!
yang memang suka panggil aku semut. sampai sekarang. lol.
thnaks temankan dan melayan perangai aku sepanjang trip to sakti ni.
kau cool! and im so sure im gonna miss you :)

okay, ini Aten.
kenapa kau makin cantik pulak aku tengokk.
eii geram!

yeahh, Ami and Opah!
they're the best juniors ever lah.
korang lah yang selalu dengar ceritacerita akak yang ntah pape dulu tu,
yang jaga akak bila akak tak sehat,
yang teman akak stay up malam malam.
semuanya korang lah
rindu gila tauuu!
bila kita jumpa masa ni, kecoh gila satu asrama kan haha.


And, all the pictures down here,
adlah gambargambar kirtorang lepaklepak kat pantai.
best best best!
sebab dah lama tak pergi pantai hehe :D





ishh geram tengok gambar Lek ni.
cantik lah!



Then, gerak pi Pasak, makan ramairamai.
Anep asyik buat lawak je.
Tak boleh nak stop gelak tau, menyampah.

eventhough hujan, basahbasah melekit semuakan,
I still had a lot of fun.
whatever it is, school is totally cool for me.
and dalam banyakbanyak kenangan,
kenangan kat sekolah lah yang paling best!
dua tahun dekat Sakti, mmg satu waktu yang singkat.
tapi kenangan kenangan kat sakti,
naaa i will never forget! ever!

To all Saktians, take good care, and keep struggling tau!
Peace!

*sorry guys lambat post, and credit to Lek, for the pictures :)





Aku tau aku kuat!

Makin lama aku hidup
Makin banyak cerita aku simpan
Simpan dalam hati je
Tak terluah kat orang lain pun
Walaupun kawan baik sendiri

Bila dah banyak rasa aku simpan
Makin penat badan ni nak menanggung
Orang kata tak elok simpansimpan
Tapi kalau kau kat tempat aku,
baru kau tau macam mana rasanya

Hati ni rasa kosong.
Kosong, kosong dan kosong.

Aku mungkin boleh ketawa.
Aku mungkin boleh senyum.
Tapi dalam hati, siapa tau?

Seribu satu rahsia aku pendam je.
Bila nak luah pun aku tatau.
Rasanya tak terluah kot :')
Biarlah rasa ni tetap dalam hati.
Kalau tu yang terbaik intuk aku.

Aku perlukan seseorang.
Bukan untuk mendengar dan memahami je.
Tapi seseorang yang selalu ada untuk aku,
Susah dan senang.

Aku tak mungkin dapat jadi aku yang dulu.
Aku tak berubah, cuma aku perlukan masa.
Masa yang sangat lama.

Bukan senang nak cantumkan balik kepingan kepingan hati yang dah hancur berderai tu.
Bukan senang.
Dah setahun lebih berlalu.
Tapi rasa tu tetap tak hilang.
Mungkin rasa tu takkan hilang?

Pengalaman dulu banyak membuatkan aku jadi lebih matang.
Baru aku sedar betapa kuatnya diri aku ni.
Aku belajar menghargai.
Dan aku sangat menghargai pengalaman tu.


Tapi aku percaya, semua yang terjadi ni mesti ada hikmahnya.
Tuhan tu lagi tau apa yang terbaik untuk aku.
Tuhan, kuatkan aku.

Pimple dushdush!

JERAWAT
BETUL BETUL KAT TENGAH TENGAH TUUU
KAT BATANG HIDUNG
ANTARA DUA MATA NEHH

AAH MEMANG LAAA SUKA KANNN

-.-

Krik Krik.

sunyi sunyi sunyi.
bayangkan. daripada 3000 students KMJ ni,
sekarang cuma ada 39 org je lol

nak pergi toilet,
angin je yg teman.
sunyi sgt lah
tapi sunyi sunyi pun best jugak tau hee

duduk dlm bilik dengan tiara je
roommate yg lain semua balik esok
nak belajar pun tade mood nih,
so since i bring my laptop here,
apa lagi, movie marathon lah kami berdua kannn

my wife is a gangster
confessions of a shopaholic


haih cepat lah habis exam, nak outing and shopping puaspuas! teeettt

Beriani Village Cafe.

this cafe is superduper awesome i tell you!
the food here,
OMG, like seriously marvellous!
pedas masam masin manis semua ada.
apa je kau nak?
haha

but mainly makanan india lah kan. hehe.
whatever, i still like it.
ada roti naaaaannnnn!
nyummyyyyy ;DDD


the roti naan was good ;) lovelovelove <3 wuuuuuu T_T nak pergi lagiii

The Zone.

location : Eden Garden, The Zone, JB
time : aroung 8.30 PM

eceehhh mcm investigator pulaks. ehhe

yeah, i had a great time with my family.
it has been a long long time since i havent met them for like,
one month ++ already
haaaaa i miss them a lot!







okay dah.
malas nak upload banyakbanyak ;D

CNY Greetings.


to all my chinese friends out there,
guys,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

hope you guys will enjoy your holiday,
and get manymany $$$$!
hahha *evil laugh*

***************

oh yeah, talking bout CNY,
i am feeling very excited to talk about my
CNY celebration at KMJ.
seriously, it was the best celebration ever lah!
GEMPAK GILA BOLEH TAK?!
even the lecturers were so proud of them ( the chinese students )

they have made a very good and greatgreatgreat job.
i love it! all of us did!
the opening was fun too!
and i couldnt help my eyes from looking at FONG and CHONG!
( eventhough they dont know me kannn )
heeeee ;D

the starting performance ;




yeah, dila and friends!
well, the acting is kind of boring,
so it is better for us to take a few pics of ourselves.
isnt it? hehe ;D




the last performance, a choir ;



and wallahhh, its him! CHONG! haha
hes handsome. way too handsome for a shinese guy. lol.
i didnt get to take his picture properly as the crowd were all shouting like hell.
and my friends were laughing and screeming as well.
so.. haih.
but at least, i got his picture! winkwink!



it was great. i had a lot of fun.
lepas tu balik bilik kan mmg tak boleh stop talking about chong.
dah lah pandai menari, dushdush.


ps ; there's the sound of fireworks here, near my house.